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“From
A to Zia” - November
My perspective on my year as Miss Gay Arkansas America
Happy November everyone! With the chill in the air, it is a great reminder
that the fall and winter months are surely upon us and with that comes
the holidays of giving…of giving thanks and of giving gifts. A time
when we
should all be so very grateful for what we have and for what each of us has
received in daily gifts. Family, Friendships and Love.
That being said, I cannot tell you how grateful I am
for the gift of support
that I had at Miss Gay America this past month in Columbus OH. Miss Gay
America was held at the Sheraton Square Capitol Ballroom with the final
night being at the Capitol Theater at the Riffe Center in Columbus OH. To
say that Miss Gay America was an experience would be cheating it’s true
value for me. This was my third trip to Miss Gay America and it was by far
the best trip I’ve had. The week of Miss Gay America proved to be one
of
challenges and one of lots of fun.
I arrived in Columbus with my dancers, Victor Clay and Orlando
Walker as
well as with my makeup artist and dresser, Seth Francis. Our drive through
the night was pretty uneventful except for a few stops and laughs along the
way. But, we had made it the beautiful city of Columbus OH and we were ready
to get out of the truck! Thankfully we were able to get ourselves checked
in pretty
early and avoided the rush later in the day as the other contestants and their
entourages arrived. Just a word to the
wise…if you are fortunate enough to compete at Miss Gay America, arrive
early. It will save you time and frustration
later. I promise.
So there we were all settled into the room and trying
to decided what to do. We explored the hotel and the boys
went exploring on their own. After a while we decided to find a store and
grab some essentials we were going to
need for the week. After a full afternoon of running around and checking out
the competition as they arrived, we
retreated to our room to get ready for the night. There was an informal meet
and greet and show for the
contestants at the Union Bar and Café. I checked in with my first alternate,
Jazmyn Turrelle and we decided we
would head to the meet and greet as a group. Once primped and dressed, the
Arkansas Delegates and our
entourages were ready to hit the town. There we were able to meet and chat
with some of our fellow contestants.
For me, it was a chance to reconnect with some old friends and meet new ones.
But once the party was in full swing,
we were treated to a show featuring the talents of Nina West, Entertainer
of the Year 2008, Catia Lee Love, the
reigning Miss Gay USofA Classic and Miss Gay America 2000 and Nicole Dubois,
Miss Gay America 2006. The evening
as a whole was so much fun and Ohio showed usthey had loads of hospitality.
Wednesday morning knocks on our doors much too early,
but we head downstairs for registration and the start of
our hectic week. Once we are settled in and the formalities are over, we are
given our schedule for the week. I feel
like I’m ready. I won’t lie, the sense of being a part of this
elite group was amazing in and of itself, but I was here as
Miss Gay Arkansas America. The feeling I had was a sense of accomplishment.
I was excited to be here!
We chose our numbers and we were given a few minutes
to trade our numbers if we wanted someplace else in the
lineup, but I was stuck with mine. I was contestant 50 out of 51. And who
in their right mind would change their number
to be contestant 50? No one. So I accepted my number and the group it came
with. I was in group 3. I was to have male
interview first, followed by talent on Thursday and evening gown and solo
competitions on Friday. Jazmyn was one of
the lucky ones to get in the group she wanted which was group 1. She did talent
first, followed by evening gown and solo
talent on Thursday and finally, male interview on Friday. With our numbers
chosen and the explanation of groups, we
were off and running. It was time to put our games faces on and do what we
were there to do…compete!
Male interview was probably the easiest category for
me. I felt ready and felt like I walked in with confidence. Male
interview is only 8 minutes. Eight minutes to is not a lot of time to let
the judges see who you are as an individual and
to convince them that you are the best thing next to sliced bread. But you
do your best and hope that in the end you’ve
conveyed to the judges that you are the best candidate for the job and that
yes, you are the next best thing alongside
the sliced bread. I walked out of male interview feeling pretty good. I felt
like “hey, I can do this”. I walked in, interviewed
well and felt accomplished. It was a great way to start the week. Male interview
day is kind of “gimme” day. Male interview
is in the early afternoon, so then you have the rest of the day and evening
to be pretty relaxed. For the evening part of the
competition we are required to walk across the stage and introduce ourselves,
say something witty or something about
your state and the title you hold. This was my third year at Miss Gay America…and
for the third year that I have forgotten
to say what title I held. I don’t know what it is. Perhaps I get too
excited and thinking about what I’m supposed to say.
Maybe it’s because everyone is looking at you and you can’t see
anything because of the lights. Whatever “it” is, it happens
to me when I’m walking across that stage and begin with “ Good
evening Columbus”! And then forgetfulness sets in.
But hey…what are you going to do?
I had the good fortune of being able to watch Jazmyn
do her talent number that night. She did an amazing job and I was
so proud of her. Once she was done, we were able to sit together alongside
our group of friends and watch some of the
competition together. You could tell this was going to be a great year for
Miss Gay America just from the first night of
competition.
Next up for me was talent. While I felt pretty comfortable
with my talent and felt like I had plenty of time to prepare for the
evening, being contestant 50 had its disadvantages. You wait the longest than
anyone else to go on. This means even if you
wait until the last minute to get ready, you still have more time to wait.
But even being contestant 50, I still felt pretty good
about my talent and felt it went well. Talent night for me was the longest
night because they begin the night with evening
gown, then male interview candidates walk across the stage, then solo talents
and then big talents. So it was very late in the
evening by the time we got on stage. But none the less, overall it was another
great evening.
Finally, evening gown and solo talent. I had been looking
forward to evening gown all week. As with most of the week, our
time was pretty much set with check-ins and sound checks. With little time
to spare to eat and rehearse, but you do find the
time. So night three of competition gets into full swing and I have less time
to wait then the previous night.
Evening gown is my favorite category and this time around,
I felt pretty good about it. My gown showed well and received
a lot of nice compliments. But then came solo talent. My final category. I
was a little excited and nervous about it at the same
time. Nervous because I was doing a Latin number. I was stepping outside my
comfort zone to do something different. Excited
because I was practicing and wanted to pull this off. I’ve never been
one to play up the Latin part of me, but here was my
chance. So here it is…my chance to prove that I can do something different.
I’m doing Selena and I’m feeling the music and
doing my choreographed moves to the beat. I’m feeling…well…Latin.
I’m about two-thirds of the way through and I was about
to begin a series of spins. Start my spins and begin spinning to the back
of the stage to hit my final pose in the series…when all
of a sudden…I fall! Yes…I fell. But what are you going to do?
It’s happened and all you hear are the gasps and then the applause
as you get up and finish the routine. I can honestly say that I received a
standing ovation for my performance at Miss Gay America.
Not many can say that? So I chalked it up and walked off stage smiling and
laughing about it. I had about 30 seconds of shock
and anger, but overall it was just a fall. That moment in time did not define
me. It happened, yes. It was unfortunate, yes. It
was 3 minutes of my life that I can look back on and laugh. I started it and
I finished it. There is a lesson there.
Saturday was a good day to sleep in and recoup from
the week. It was our one day off, so to speak. I decide to take the boys
to lunch at Union Bar and Café. It gave us a chance to get out of the
hotel and walk around a bit and enjoy a great lunch and
just chat about the week and some of our fun. This also gave me an opportunity
to meet with my Columbus friend Shaun who
joined us for lunch. I’m very grateful to him for going out of his way
to make sure that I didn’t need or want for anything the
entire week I was in Columbus.
Saturday evening was the Miss Gay America’s in
Review show featuring Coti Collins, the reigning Miss Gay America. To see
so
many former Miss America’s perform in one place was beyond description.
But I think the highlight of the evening was seeing
Coti Collins on stage with Coco Montrese, Dominique Sanchez, Luscious and
Victoria DePaula all doing Beyonce’s song, Single
Ladies. The entire crowd erupted and were on their feet. Most people know
that Coti is not a dancer and so this number was
a huge surprise for everyone. This was a great night overall. We all had a
so much fun and it was our opportunity to just let
loose and enjoy the night off. But, this was also the night where category
winner are announced. In between the performance
numbers category winners were announced alongside some other chosen winners
from Coti. Miss Gay Arkansas America was
chosen as Best Preliminary Souvenir Program.
Our final day had arrived. Sunday even was held at the
Capitol Theater at the Riffe Center. This was a beautiful theater that
was befitting Miss Gay America. This night was truly going to be one for the
record books. As usual we had check in and
rehearsal for the final night. It was exciting yet sad to be heading into
this evening. Our evening theme was “40 Years of
Excellence” but felt more like “Something in Red”. All the
contestants and formers were required to wear red evening gowns
of choice. The overall look on stage was breathtaking as we all stood in our
finest red in front of a packed theater. It was
surreal and overwhelming to be a part of such a legacy.
The top ten were announced and as we left the stage,
we had minutes to get into our evening gowns as we were to be a
part of a parade of contestants prior to the final night evening gown competition.
And then the top ten did their evening
gowns and on stage questions. Once that was done the top ten rushed to get
ready for their talents. The top ten certainly
deserved to be there and proved that on this final night. The talents were
amazing this year and some of these gentleman
pulled out everything they had. Amazing!
In the end, Miss Gay D.C. America Kirby Kolby was crowned your new Miss Gay America 2012.
Congratulations goes out to:
1st Alternate – Jessica Jade
2nd Alternate –Jenna Skyy
3rd Alternate – Araya Sparxx
4th Alternate – Blair Williams
Also to Sally Sparkkles, Tanisha Foxx, Chantel Reshae, Roxie Hart and Celia Putty for rounding out the Top Ten.
While I didn’t do as well as I had hoped, I felt
that I actually competed better than I had in previous years. I carried myself
differently and for the first time, felt like I belonged in that group of
amazing men with whom I competed with. This week
was filled with competition, fun, friends and so much laughter. We made so
many new friends and filled our minds with
memories to last a life time. I wouldn’t change a thing!
|And while most of my month has been busy with preparing
and competing for Miss Gay America, I did have a unique
opportunity presented to me a couple of weeks ago. There
is a local group called the Center for Artistic Revolution (CAR)
and they have a youth group called Diverse Youth for Social Change (DYSC).
CAR, is a 501 (c)(3)sponsored, state-wide,
grassroots community based organization and founded in Little Rock, Arkansas
in 2003 by Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual,
Transgendered and Queer Arkansans (LGBTQ) and their straight allies who believe
that all people should have equitable
access to fair treatment, a democratic political process, and economic and
environmental justice. CAR works with a holistic
combination of progressive education, organizing skills, advocacy, and creative/cultural
work in order to create a fair
Arkansas that values all of its residents.
I had a friend contact me with the offer of performing
with this youth group at their Variety Show that was their fundraiser
for their organization and the Lucille Marie Hamilton LGBTQ Youth Center.
The monies raised were to help with their programs.
I was honoured to have been asked and was told I just needed to do one number.
But along with that, I asked if I could
address the youth group and the crowd. I was informed that I would be most
welcomed to do so. I was put towards the end
of the show this giving me an opportunity to see all of thekid’s performances.
Some sang, danced and even read poetry. These
kids are so talented and here they were performing, some for the first time,
for their parents and peers. As I stood back and
watched, it dawned on me that these kids are trying to make a difference.
They want to create an environment for youth who
are troubled personally and in their homes. A place where they can come and
be who they are without question and without
fear of being bullied. After watching, I was given a very nice introduction
and proceeded to do my number. Afterwards I was
given the opportunity to address the youth group, their families and friends
and everyone who just came out to support. What
an amazing experience it was to do so. I was able to address those kids and
tell them how important they are. To let them know
that they are not the only ones who feel the way they do by feeling different.
I told them that we all find our place in the world
and that it does get better. And in the words of Coti Collins, that they should
never allow anyone to determine their self worth.
After the show I had some time and was able to just talk to some of the parents
about being gay, my life and the support of my
family and friends. I spoke to one family in particular about the struggles
of their transgendered son who is still very young. The
pain in the eyes of the mother and grandmother were quite evident. They asked
me one simple question. “What do we do”? I
answered simply, love her. She will have an easier time in her transition
if she knows that her family loves her and supports her.
Life is never easy and comes with a surmountable amount of challenges, but
the challenges some of us face are so small in
comparison to some of these youth. Love them, guide them and help them be
the amazing young adults they will become.
The experience left me humbled beyond words. I will
forever be grateful to my friend Daniel, to CAR and to DYSC for this
amazing life humbling experience.
Before I leave you I would just like to thank everyone
who believed in me and assisted me in preparing for Miss Gay America.
To everyone single person who donated even a dollar, you’ll never know
how grateful I am. It made my journey to Miss Gay
America so much easier without any stress or worries financially. To Ron Standridge
for you’relove, support and belief in me.
To Norman Jones and you’re incredible words of wisdom. To my Miss Gay
Arkansas sisters for all your love and support. To
Shane Loftis who kept me in check and continues to keep me grounded and prepared
daily. Most importantly, to Victor Clay,
Orlando Walker and Seth Francis who made me shine the entire week of Miss
Gay America. I could not have taken this journey
without each of you. We made some indescribable memories that no one can take
away from us and will bind us of life. I value
each of your friendships and hold you all close to my heart. Thank you will
never be enough.
Time is passing by quickly and soon we’ll be talking
about preliminaries and Miss Gay Arkansas 2012. Are you ready? I urge
you to think about preparing for your preliminary early. Think about what
you would like to present this year. Please contact
me with any questions you may have regarding preliminaries and your packages.
Preliminary season is just around the corner.
Let’s make this the best year yet!If there is anyone interested in competing
or promoting a preliminary for Miss Gay Arkansas
America, please contact me, Shane Loftis or Dennis Harris for further information.
Also, if you are a bar owner/manager that would like
to book me for a show in your establishment, please contact me or
Shane Loftis.
And finally I say to all of you…make a difference.
Be grateful and give back. Also, please keep in mind that we are entering
the season of giving. In my short time as Miss Gay Arkansas America I feel
as though I have been given so much more than
I have been given with this opportunity. I will not let it go to waste and
will try not to disappoint you.
With Love,
Zia D’Yor
Miss Gay Arkansas America 2011
ZiaMGAR2011@gmail.com
501-650-3373